my downpour lullaby.

just another phase.

2010-10-05T07:48:00.003+08:00

Down and out at the most unexpected places,
Wondering what, when, where and how.
When you wrote my name, smiling all the way,
I could’ve sworn you’re my sunshine in the gloomiest days.

Sing and shout at the least convenient faces
Wondering who, when, where and how.
When you whisper the words you should be singing out loud,
That’s when it hits me, every time.

Here it goes again, coloring my pallid eyes.
Like a sunrise in the middle of the night.
Carrying my weary heart, it never felt so right.
And when morning comes and finally sheds some light,
That’s when it hits me, every time.

Lying down lying,
It’s just another…
Gleaming smiles and teary eyes,
It’s just another…
Never knowing when to free my grasp,
It’s just another…
Sunsets past left me gazing at the dim sky.
It’s just another phase, you and I.

untitled

2010-08-27T23:21:00.002+08:00

The moonless sky is pouring once more. The dampened streets seem like mirrors reflecting illuminations from all manner of spaces, its radiance blinding. The frigid wind kept a good hold of me, swaying. I’m deafened. My feet moved voluntarily through the sinking pavement, monotonously illustrating that they are complete with one another. Lullabies are guidelines. My trembling hands inevitably sought the warmth of my pocket. A black veil loomed over my head. Neon lights sprawled graffiti on every surface. The song kept playing. Eyes shut, it's you I see.

Summer.
Sunsets.
Full moons.
Night skies.

Our lives kept living. Time went. I shiver, holding on nonetheless. Unwrapping my eyes, the reverie’s over. I’m still sipping sweet oxygen, not knowing why. Lost. Invisible stars are scattered around, shimmering. The night’s just begun. Another moonless sky. I’ll never be prepared.

Without.
You.
Here.
Why must tears descend from these eyes?

Overcast?

2010-06-20T01:46:00.002+08:00

The days, they pass.
The expanse between us seems so daunting now.
Unknowingly, my careworn heart still beats of you.
Another second’s spent hoping we’re together.
You and I.
Someday, someway, somehow.

Dreamers and believers.
Who said you can’t be both?
My summer evensong.
The puzzle I belong to.
You still are, and always will be.

Your smile.
Oceans between us seem like puddles after the rain.
And if the distance just keeps on tearing us apart.
Then I pray that these words just keep on stitching us back together again.

all eyes to the west.

2010-06-02T02:12:00.002+08:00

Where have you been all this time?
I don’t know how I got past through the seasons without missing you at all.
Four summers.
Well, I miss you now. I miss you right now.
My harbor. My escape.
Lost within you, I don’t want to be found.

You’re the reason why.

And all this time, I’ve been figuring out a way how I could keep your smiles between my arms.
That way, the thunder won’t bother me anymore every time it rains.
Shivering, the dreary skies are haunting.
My saccharine sunset, fill me with awe again.

yellow tulips in the sky.

2010-05-25T02:02:00.005+08:00

Reality, would you let me be?

Looking down below, no one knows it’s all for show.
I didn’t know that smiles are mandatory these days.
Adhering to the signs with hopes that one day she’ll be mine.
Stealing glances, dreaming with open eyes.

Sanity, are you with me?

It’s all the same if I stay the same.
Now, the clouds are closing in; it’s time to breathe again.
Shutting my eyes just to see you there.
Will you be the rainbow after all?

So, when I finally leap headfirst from the aero plane
And everything is falling up,
Will you be my parachute in the end?

six-five-six-one

2010-05-24T03:14:00.002+08:00

Her face, it glistens like the August skies, coloring me crimson. What a sight.
Her eyes, they see things way beyond what I perceive, with her lovely perception. Dive right in.
So far away, but our words are strung across the cobalt ocean waves between, hoping they’d make it through alright.
And I can’t help but beam as I picture your every smile, such consoling lullabies.

As the rain tore through the scenery, blinding me, as the thunder roared in the air, frightening me.
She just posed her novel smile, and…

Good morning,
Good evening.
Have a great day,
Sleep well.

This summer is worth it, after all.

The Tragedy.

2010-05-11T00:25:00.002+08:00

She crossed my mind again. The way her smile became the reason I breathed seemed so distant now. I knew from the start that it wouldn’t last, but I tried to con myself the best I could, thinking otherwise. My ignorance started to seep, young as I was, hysterically. Any form of resistance is futile, for I have made a thoughtless decision, opened up and fell short of everything she expected. It’s only a matter of time before every ineffectual word I’ve said will finally cave in on me.

This much I know, if my apologies will constantly be inadequate, what’s the sense of even uttering them? I’m cruel. Numb. Bemused. Fed-up. Apologetic. Frantic. Distressed. I’m aware of that. But did she know how much I regret the day I made my sentiment known? She would’ve been better off without me. What was in my mind when I told her she meant something to me, knowing that in the process, I’m thinking only of myself? Why did I even dare to bother her wonderful existence? I know she can never grant me forgiveness, but it’s the reprisal I must live with. It’s a mess, but a beautiful one at that.

Closing my eyes, I glimpse at her smile yet again, warm and inviting. It feels like it all just happened yesterday, though half a year has passed. How she used to hold part of my being. How she used to be the string that held my balloon heart, keeping me from floating astray. She used to be extraordinary, and in my opinion she still is, but I’ve changed. I fell out, let go. So long, my string, the instance has come for me to be free again. Time never mended broken hearts, who am I fooling? It’s acceptance that grants your release.

February Fleeting.

2010-03-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

I feel like dancing in the moonlight with you tonight.
Bathed by the starlight, you and I.
Take off my mask. Break the walls that shun us apart.
Is it possible to put down my fears, just for the night?
And come sunrise, I hope we’d still be dancing and singing and…

I’m too scared to tell you that I’m too scared to let you in.
I guess I’m still unprepared, unwary of this thing that haunts me.
Deadened and insincere, I sought to grasp your hand, only to fail once more.

I can never discount you from my thoughts.
But ignorance is the next best thing I could think of.
Your smile is contagious as our laughs fill the air.
For all I’m worth, I’d still rather be with you.
Someday.

Lynn.

2010-02-10T03:26:00.001+08:00

Muse over.
Driving past the domicile I used to look forward to.
‘Cause it’s there where we had our exchange of heartfelt lines.
Walking the same route that we used to take together every day.
It all just makes it harder not to consider this situation.
Truth is, our eyes might never meet again.
Don’t tell me to move on along and let it all go.
Because I can’t.
Songs that we used to sing, they mean much more to me now.
Are you humming them along with me from where you are?

“I’m closing your blinds. I’m shutting your eyes.
And now I’m afraid I have to go. Whoa.”

A Rocket to the Moon. Not a Second to Waste.
Now it all makes perfect sense.

Parting.
Take flight through the clouds tonight.
I can’t bear the fact that your exit’s here.
You know better that I’m never going to be alright.
Without you here, life’s insincere.
Parade our smiles for the very last time.
The moon-kissed sky is waving its goodbye.
Stars used to assail the scene every time we’re together.
So long. Farewell. Our memories forever.

when nests die.

2010-02-03T03:16:00.000+08:00

Oh, my recurring failures
Oh, the full moon-lit skies.
Such bittersweet tragedy.
My frailty, seeping through the cracks.
Caught up, feeble and afraid.

Oh, the poignant weather.
Oh, my fourth-day disaster.
Reluctant and willing all at the same time.
I shut my eyes and brace myself for what I will become tonight.
I swear it’s just for tonight.

hello, sweet inauguration.

2010-01-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

your voice resonated through the chambers of my thoughts tonight all over again.
"please, not again", it begs.
oh, pardon my weary heart for it cannot compensate.
its droning task, beating in just to beat out.
it will never be enough.
oh, forgive my heart for it is just like myself.
frail and undeserving.
cold and deceiving.

and it's feels just like august all over again.
the warm skyline embraces us like we were it's own.
"please, not here again",it pleads.
it pleaded.
it surrendered.
in the middle of the storm, it finally surrendered.

i flick my wrist, waving.
"hello,sweet inauguration.
it's a welcome sight to see you once more."